And We Didn't Even Need Mistletoe
by cleverParadise
Summary: Kanaya struggles with her closeted affections for her friend, Rose, during a holiday gift exchange. Part of a Humanstuck AU, soon to include more characters.


Kanaya studied Rose carefully. The blonde kept a steady expression as she lowered her chin, reaching for the green paper bag she had brought with her to the coffee shop. It was Christmas, as the lights beaming and twinkling outside reminded them. Kanaya almost wished they weren't so gleeful.

Rose had first come to her attention on the first day of the school semester. She had slipped into their English class silently, into the seat to Kanaya's left without so much as a soft thud of her black flats against the linoleum. Kanaya swallowed her gum when she noticed the girl's eyeliner, perfectly winged and the exact shade of black that could only have been made by her favorite brand. Her lips had been lined meticulously and filled in with the perfect plum hue for both the upcoming autumn and her pale skin.

Had any one seen her, Kanaya would have been forced to admit that in that exact moment, she had fallen hopelessly in love with Rose.

A moment after slipping in, Rose glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, playing with her thin black pen between her fingers. Kanaya almost choked from looking away so fast.

"Did he see me?" Her soft voice murmured.

"Not that either of us know of," Kanaya replied, enunciating each word with a practiced grace. Rose smiled and opened her notebook that Kanaya hadn't seen her take out of her bag. She decided to get out her notebook as well, and when she sat back up, Rose's face was closer than she had remembered and her violet lips were sounding out her first name.

That had been three months ago.

Since that day, Kanaya had to pretend her emotions for Rose maximized as completely platonic friendship. It was harder than she realized once Rose began asking her to join her for coffee during the evenings off campus. She found herself fussing with her dark pixie cut as she dashed out of her classes as they ended, catching a ride in her half-sister's car to the café while ignoring the driver's insistence that she just admit her emotions for once.

Even on the way to the coffee shop that evening, Kanaya had been fingering tendrils of hair into position as her half-sister sighed and nagged at her to tell the object of her affection the truth.

"I'm sure she'll keep you in her life no matter what, Kannie," Porrim chided. "Maybe as more than friends, just like you want."

"I don't want her to be more than friends with me," Kanaya whined in reply. It was an outright lie that she had been repeating for the last few weeks. Porrim had sighed, passing her dark lipstick back to her younger sister.

"Just don't deny anything if it comes up. You'll end up hating yourself." She smudged the dark pigment under her lip ring and her smoky eyes caught Kanaya in their gaze once more. "Don't make an idiot out of yourself."

I'm already an idiot, Kanaya found herself murmuring in her own mind. Rose was rifling through the bag beside her leg still, and her slow and careful pace was not doing any favors for the anxious brunette.

Kanaya looked at her fingernails, trying to distract herself. Her pink skin was nearing an ivory since the remainder of summer. She had never fared too well in the sun, but at least when she was sun kissed she looked healthy. A dark and metallic green had encased her nail beds, and she had spent the five minutes waiting for the girl chipping a good portion of the varnish off. The gift exchange had been Rose's idea, and she had spent the last two weeks trying to come up with the best possible gifts she could give. When she finally settled on what to give, she knew it would be perfect.

"I hope you don't mind," Rose said, pushing the green bag across the small wood topped table. "I had to make sure I had remembered the card."

The fingernails, now barely covered in the varnish, stretched on the fingers before her as she took the bag into her possession. Reaching in, she felt a length of material, almost scratching her skin but barely. She knew the fabric well. Wool was one of her favorite mediums this time of year.

"Please don't leave me waiting. I want to see your reaction, Kanaya." Rose said her name with a tenderness that Kanaya had never heard before. Had her lips tasted each syllable's desire to taste her in return? The brunette caught herself nearly stammering, nodded quickly and pulled the gift from the bag.

A jade hued scarf, knitted as meticulously as the knitter's cosmetics had been applied, unraveled itself from its static state in the bag. Kanaya smiled to herself, bringing the bundle to her face and nearly smothering herself in it. It was perfect.

"I was hoping that you would like it."

"I love it."

"I worked for hours on it." Rose smiled.

"You did?" Kanaya hugged it tightly to her chest. "It's so lovely, thank you. I'll have to find someway to repay you the time you've spent on it."

"Please, Kanaya, you've done enough."

Kanaya reached into her bag and pulled out her gift. It was in a small, lilac box, tied closed with a darker violet ribbon.

"We seem to have chosen color schemes for our gifts," Rose laughed to herself, taking the box in her hands.

"I should tell you, Rose. You aren't an easy person to shop for."

"I've heard that about myself once or twice."

"So I didn't shop for you."

Rose cocked her head and a smile, almost rising into an expression of suspicion slid onto her face. The undone ribbon laid beside the package in tangles. Her narrow fingers, calloused from her nights of orchestra practice, took the lid of the box and jostled it to and fro just enough for it to pop off.

Kanaya's green eyes fluttered down to her finger, resting on the edge of her coffee cup. The dark peppermint tinted mocha let off a thin veil of steam, a veil she imagined pouring over the crown of Rose's head as she stepped between pews. She shook her head, bringing herself back into the moment.

"I love it." Rose seemed hushed. Her eyes sparkled as she lifted the plush cat from the box. It was a toy that Kanaya had made out of scraps of fabric and stories that Rose had told her about her beloved, late cat, Jaspers. He was dressed to the nine lives in a corduroy suit, and his eyes were speckled Jasper stone beads. Kanaya had found them in one of Porrim's piles of healing crystals, or so her sister had called them.

The blonde's eyes seemed to well with tears. Her lips puckered, and she swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Please, Rose, don't cry," Kanaya begged.

"I'm not sad. I promise." She propped the cat's long body on the top of her thighs and waved his well-dressed arm. "He just looks so much like my Jaspers."

"I didn't have a picture. I only based him off what you told me."

"You got him down to the helpful grin."

"Please don't cry, Rose. This was not my intention."

Rose chuckled, catching herself smile back up at Kanaya.

"What _was_ your intention?"

Kanaya felt her blood suddenly engulf in flames. Her face began to glow.

"My intention, Rose, was to give you a gift that you would love."

"I do, Kanaya. I love it." Her arms seemed to be drawn around the small faux beast.

"I'm glad."

Kanaya raised her mug to her lips and took a heavier sip of her beverage than she had expected to. She closed her eyes and breathed, exhaling all of her anxieties. She felt like she was in one of Porrim's guided mediations that she would walk in on while her sister was attempting to manage their neighbor's band.

"Kanaya?"

"Yes, Rose?"

"Did you open the card that came with my gift?"

"No, I haven't."

"You should."

Kanaya looked into the bag, which she had placed on the floor and retrieved the card. Rose must have gotten warm, as her cheeks had grown flushed. Kanaya made a mental note to ask her if she wanted to move tables after she read the card.

She slit the card open with her thumb to find a simple piece of stationary and a stack of cursive written in black ink.

_Dearest Kanaya,_

_I know I'm usually one of the most flowery prose, but there is simply no better way for me to say this than plainly. I should revise this to say more plainly than I can usually even attempt to compose._

_I've been enamored with you since we've met. You've proven only to be even more beautiful than when I first saw you. It's quite stupid, but I'm hoping you recall the first day of class. I wasn't late. I had seen you and was so taken with you that I decided to make myself known to you in the worst plan I think I've ever concocted for myself. Forgive me for that, but hopefully not for my admitting my feelings for you._

_Is it wrong for me to want to be more than your friend when your friendship already means so much?_

_Rose_

Kanaya set the letter down, shaking.

"Please tell me you aren't joking, Rose."

"Why would I be joking?"

"I don't know, but if you are, this is the most cruel joke to ever play on someone." Her heart was trying to pirouette out of her chest. Her anxiety was climbing. She wasn't sure if she was going to faint.

"I'm not joking, Kanaya."

"Then please, say it to my face."

Rose smiled to herself.

"Kanaya, I want you to be mine."

A moment passed.

"Kanaya, I think I'm in love with you."

Her green eyes would not take focus off of her cup of coffee in possible romantic defense.

"Kanaya, please answer me."

The plum lips pouted gently without notice by their owner. Kanaya looked back up at her.

"Answer me, please. I feel like an idiot."

"I can't believe I'm going to do this," Kanaya mumbled to herself, standing up.

Rose became startled, unsure of what she had caused.

However, all became clear when Kanaya had taken her chin between her hands and pressed their lips together.

The kiss was brief, but they both could feel the desire pulsing behind their lips. Rose brushed her hair over her ear and blushed.

"Merry Christmas, Kanaya."

"Merry Christmas, Rose."

Rose kissed her quickly once more.

"And we didn't even need mistletoe."


End file.
